Sunday, October 19, 2008

A costume for your morals.

Is Halloween really happy?

It is if you're a perverted guy who goes out on October 31st looking to meet girls.

I've learned that, in Utah County, a girl who would never be caught dead wearing a risque outfit or show cleavage... uses Halloween as her excuse to wear less clothing than what she goes swimming in. She'll wear a one piece swim suit but a two piece costume that is little more than saran wrap if invited to a costume party.

Guys are not immune to this. If you have abdominal definition there is a very good chance that the promises you made, in a giant buidling at the age of 19-ish to always have a special t-shirt on, get thrown out the window so that the skank ...sorry I mean girl, of your dreams will dance a paper thin distance from you. Who needs morals on October holidays? Save those for Chrsitmas and Easter.

And it's not just the hotties... fugly (fat+ugly used to describe someone when they are more than just ugly) people love this holiday too.

Take for instance the young lady who always wears a sweater and glasses. She happily embraces a holiday where she can get the left over guys with no abdominal definition who are also looking for attention. There is no weight limit on stretchy clothes, but there should be. Raise her hand in class? No. Sing Kareoke on a bar top with 150 of her closest drunk friends who will never remember her the next day for she will have changed back into her everyday plain Jane persona... SURE!

Fat guys know that a giant diaper and a sash are what you wear if you wanna go dressed as the New Year baby... and as a bonus you have a mobile toilet in-case you drink so much you soil yourself. A lot of body paint is used this night. The same way you slap a coat of paint on an old broken down car that is hideous to look at.

Halloween is the "no shoes, no shirt... NO PROBLEM!" of holidays.

May I suggest keeping your morals all year long? Keep your clothes on people!!! Either that or don't be hypocrites. I better see those fishnet stockings worn at least ONCE in our biology class. What's more, you aren't made of money. You go to UVU not Harvard. Why would you spend any amount of money on a costume that disguises who you really are for JUST one night? By the way, the Holy Ghost is going dressed as himself.

2 comments:

theincrediblejulk said...

skippy. fugly is not fat+ugly, it's f*ck+ugly.

Jack (h2oetry) said...

Took the words out of my mouth Julk